Diary of an Orginization Leader
by SunflowerWielder
Summary: Xemnas has a diary. Speaks for itself really. "We do not have room for 56 boxes of ice-cream."
1. Week 1

**What if Xemnas had a diary? What mayhem would be recorded in it's pages? **

**Want to have a look?**

* * *

July 5th

Dear Diary.

Have had problems with Axel.

He says that we do not have enough ice-cream in the castle.

Roxas agrees.

I shall have to talk to them.

Maybe Vexen is right about respecting your elders.

For once.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 6th

Vexen is not right about respecting elders.

He blew up the lab today.

Zexion says that I should fire Vexen.

Vexen protested bitterly about that.

Before Larxene knocked him out.

I shall consider firing him.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 7th

Marluxia has supported firing Vexen.

So now I can't do it.

Damm the graceful assassin

Xemnas.

* * *

July 8th

Xigbar says that somebodies have something called 'retirement'.

Am considering putting Vexen into retirement.

Saïx says just to kick him out.

I have told Saïx not to hate Vexen just because he set all his boxers on fire.

It turns out Saïx didn't know that.

I have now got to stop him killing Vexen.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 9th

Succeeded in stopping Saïx from killing Vexen.

However, he does now have a broken leg.

Perhaps this will make him more careful in future on whose boxers he sets fire to.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 10th

Axel and Roxas robbed an ice-cream store.

They held the manager up at chakram and keyblade point.

They stole 56 boxes of sea salt ice-cream.

We do not have room for 56 boxes of ice-cream.

I shall speak to them.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 11th

Roxas and Axel have been arrested.

I have sent Xaldin to plead bail with the judge.

Then steal his heart.

Therefore we shall achieve two goals in one go.

Xemnas

* * *

July 12th

Judge turned out to a former bank manager.

So Xaldin had to fill in 47 forms.

Xaldin does not like filling in forms.

So he went onto plan two and attacked the bank manager.

Roxas and Axel are going to go to jail.

Damm their ice-cream cravings.

Xemnas.

* * *

**At the moment, it's a one-shot, but if you want me to continue then I will!**

**Please review! They make me happy! And hyper. But mainly happy!**


	2. Week 2

**Thank you for all the reviews! You are brillient!**

**Well, by reviewer demand, here it is: Part two!**

July 13th

Celebrated being Organization XIII today.

Which was hard as Axel and Roxas are still in jail.

Luxord says to break them out.

Demyx says he has been watching too many cowboy movies.

We still have the 56 boxes of ice-cream.

I do not know what to do with them.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 14th

We are going to have a car boot sale of ice cream.

With the munny we raise we shall buy Roxas and Axel out of jail.

But we do not have a car.

This will be a slight problem.

Xigbar is going to get a car.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 15th

Xigbar brought a bus.

But it does not have a boot.

Idiot.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 16th

Xigbar took back the bus.

He stole a taxi instead.

This does have a boot.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 17th

It snowed today.

Hm.

Snow in July.

But no-one wanted ice-cream.

Especially since it had melted.

We are now broke.

And being hunted by London Taxi Service.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 18th

Have sorted out London Taxi Service.

Blamed it all on Marluxia.

Always works.

I think Marluxia hit them over the head with his scythe.

Then they left.

Not much more can happen.

Xemnas.

* * *

July 19th

Roxas and Axel broke out of jail.

They realised that they could use Roxas' keyblade to open the jail door.

Then Axel set the jail on fire.

Larxene said they could have dark portalled out ages ago.

Axel and Roxas went quite red.

Then they hit Larxene.

Then she electrocuted them.

Roxas and Axel have brought back a pet.

It is a kitten.

Apparently, it is a evil kitten.

It shall help us take Kingdom Hearts.

Says Axel.

Xemnas.

* * *


	3. Week 3

**I made ANOTHER chapter.**

**This is actually really fun to write! And Namine makes her first appearence!**

* * *

July 20th

Today Saïx will train the kitten to fight for us.

He laughed when I told him this.

It is the first time I have ever seen him show emotion.

So I slapped him.

Order must be retained.

Then we had to use the new tranquiliser gun.

Xemnas.

July 21st

Axel says that the kitten will be a good member of the organization.

It has built in weapons.

Claws.

Similar to Larxene's kunai.

Interesting theory.

Xemnas.

July 22nd

The kitten seems to be yearning for something.

I asked Naminé what it may be.

She said that we needed to feed it.

I said that there was plenty of food in the fridge.

The kitten could help itself.

Naminé rolled her eyes.

She said she didn't mean people food she meant kitten food.

I said we are not people we are nobodies.

Naminé rolled her eyes again and said to go to a shop and buy kitten food.

I said the kitten must learn to adapt if it is to be a good Organization XIII member.

Naminé banged her head on the table.

Many times.

Then she collapsed.

I will get Roxas and Axel to go and buy kitten food tomorrow.

Xemnas.

July 23rd

Roxas and Axel got arrested again.

This time for assaulting an old lady.

She hit them with her handbag.

And the Organization's reputation must not be tarnished by elderly ladies with rock hard handbags.

Said Axel.

When he called us from the prison.

Instead of our lawyer.

Using up his one phone call.

Xemnas.

July 24th

Xigbar has ordered a jailbreak.

I told him to make sure I knew nothing until it was over.

He agreed.

Although…

It did sound like he said 'You don't know anything now'.

…

I will have to punish him.

Xemnas.

July 25th

I need to bail Axel, Roxas, Xigbar, Demyx, Zexion, Marluxia and the kitten out of jail.

The jailbreak did not work.

Xemnas.

July 26th

The kitten was supposed to distract the guards with its cuteness.

While Xigbar, Demyx, Zexion and Marluxia broke the cell door down.

The guard was allergic to cats.

And Kittens.

So I didn't work.

And we do not have enough money to bail them out.

Says Luxord.

Xemnas.

July 27th

Luxord, Larxene, Xaldin, and Lexaeus tried to break Axel, Roxas, Xigbar, Demyx, Zexion, Marluxia and the Kitten out of jail.

It worked even worse than the other plan.

Larxene tried to flirt with the guard.

This worked until she got annoyed with the guard and punched him.

Her defence was that she was PMS-ing.

I did not know what that was.

So I asked Naminé.

You do not want to know.

Trust me said Naminé.

So they are all appearing in court tomorrow.

And Ansem the Wise is the judge.

…

Damn.

Xemnas.

* * *


End file.
